Tumblr avant vous parlez

About to have my first dog sitting gig this weekend.

I got the job from Care.com, I am so surprised they didn’t rape and kill me when we met today. I am always afraid that all of the job postings are code for dirty sex or something. I had a babysitting offer, but it was like super creepy. The lady told me that she would drop the kid off at my house every day (which is just weird on principle I think) and that he is in a wheelchair because of an accident. Then she sent a picture of them, pre-accident, with another infant in her arms.. I just.. ok this is the exact email

“just read your email but i will only be able to mail you a check so

you can deposit it directly from your branch. I have attached a

picture of me, David and his little brother Kelvin who died in the

course of the accident. We can meet at the McDonald at 6.00PM. I hope

this is a convenient time for you. I will appreciate you working for

us as one family and not just a caregiver. That increases the love and

build a great partnership between us. I was able to finalized with the

wheelchair seller. The wheel chair cost $2400. so i will be mailing

your first week payment ($15/hr x 5hrs/day = $75 x 5days a week= $375)

of $375 plus an additional deposit of $2400 to make a total of $2,775

on the check as soon as i hear back from you.The deposit goes to the

wheelchair seller on delivery. I will send your address to the seller

for the chair delivery so you can pay on delivery as soon as the check

clears.”

So now I am buying a wheelchair too. I don’t know how to hide.

My new nose ring is giant, I think the people shopping at Hobby Lobby were judging me.

I may have misjudged the size of the ring when I bought it online..I just wanted it to be a little bit bigger and now it’s like I have a googly eye on my nostril. I just.. I feel eyes on me, and it’s uncomfortable. Everyone can see it so clearly, and everyone thinks I am an americanized African hood-rat up to no good.

I was also buying a black shirt for my brother, so it probably looked like I was making shirts for a girl gang. A girl gang of African pierced nosed hood-rats. They blind you with their nose bling.

Seriously, The Janoskians

are hilarious. Maybe it’s the immature child in me that I don’t hide very well, but I couldn’t breathe for like 5 minutes and have a raging headache because of all the laughing I just got finished doing.